Days of Thundercheese

New blog I love.

2008-05-13T03:11:14Z

It's not new exactly, but it's new to me. It's called Fake Plastic Fish. It's written by a woman in California who is trying to drastically reduce her use of plastic. It came at just the right time, as I've been mulling this issue over myself. Where does all the plastic in the world go when it's discarded? I know we can recycle some of it, but certainly not all, and anyway, our household alone tosses tons of plastic every week in the form of packaging. What happens to it? Aren't we just filling up landfills? Beth answers these questions and many more. It's fascinating stuff!

Here's a quick intro to her and what her journal is about, including a photo of her surrounded by the plastic she's collecting.

Here's a basic outline of the problem. Why should we care about plastics?

Here's an answer to the question, "Should I be using those Evert Bags that keep veggies fresh?" I did, but after reading this, I'm going to stop.

Edited to add the following -

I really like Beth's perspective on the issue of plastic:

Now, do I think that plastic is the biggest environmental problem in the world? No. Because I have no idea what our biggest problem is, if problems can even be ranked that way. What I do know is that plastic is something that I can handle. I don't own a car, so I can't cut down my driving to save petroleum. I don't own a house, so I can't remodel to make my home more energy efficient. But I am a consumer. And I can control what products I choose to buy. And I can be an example and share through this blog the discoveries that I make. So that's what I'm doing!

Entertaining me.

2008-05-07T20:31:08Z

Class today was a demonstration of making a plaster form for the object we're going to form. The first step was making a soft sculpture, meaning one made from cloth and sewn together. I made a big stuffed toothbrush in batik-print fabric. Today we made clay sculptures from the models. Then we learned how to cover those models in plaster, to make a cast that we could use to make, say, an army of angry toothbrushes that would take over the world. Just an idea.

There was a big chunk of time, after I'd made my clay toothbrush, where I was waiting for our teacher to finish his sculpture so he could demonstrate the plaster part, where I had nothing much to do. So I had the following conversation with Greg via text message:
me: Bored. Entertain me please. greg: I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady, take your purse." greg: How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand. greg: When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized the Lord doesn't work that way. So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. me: *laugh* me: You are ten different kinds of awesome. greg: You are TWELVE different kinds of awesome! You are the special awesome assortment that you can only order if you make group reservations a month in advance.

I'm tempted to post his phone number so that other people can text message him when they're bored and see what he says.....

I want a bike. Another bike.

2008-05-07T06:08:29Z

This is the coolest thing I've seen since I was introduced to recumbents:

http://www.bikefriday.com/tikit

Here's an 8-second clip of it in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQscBxx7wLE

It folds up! You can take it anywhere! It's so perfect! Maybe if I'd start riding the two bikes I had, I could make a case for needing this....*sigh*.

I did go for a short ride the other day. I felt worn out so quickly, I got discouraged and haven't ridden again. I live really close to school and don't like that I drive there, I'd really prefer to ride (besides the exercise and the environmental friendliness, we'd save over $100 a year in parking fees). It's one of my goals to get confident enough on the streets that I start bicycling to school every day.

HEY HEY GUESS WHAT!?

2008-05-06T19:36:44Z

They cashed my check!

*bounce* *bounce*

The one for my state massage license!

*bounce* *bounce*

On May 2nd!

*bounce* *bounce*

Which means my application was processed and I should be getting my license in the mail any minute!

*bounce* *bounce*

Just thought you should know!

*bounce* *bounce*

t-ball game tonight

2008-05-06T05:09:45Z

It turns out t-ball is the social event of the month! Auntie Sonja came, as did my Mom and Dad, and Greg's Mom and Dad, and then we also met up with a friend, Brenda, who we hadn't seen in awhile, and got to talk another Mom we're getting to know better too. It was just a big chatfest the entire game, and we all laughed and had such a nice time. I'm really starting to love living here.

This is Miles during his last run home, and the little girl in pink is the daughter of our friend (today the boys played against an ALL GIRL TEAM, woo!). They're all so cute! Oh man, I love watching these kids play ball. He was hamming it up for me so much that he almost forgot to run all the way home. I think next time I'll have to stand back a bit.

Beth found a boy! We don't know how, but she did. She was dragging this poor kid, Levi, all over the place by his sleeve. Turns out he's eight years old, and just the sweetest thing. He has a little sister, and is apparently used to this treatment. Beth called him, "my boy", and I would've kept her from hauling him off every five minutes, but he was grinning just as big as she was. She wasn't shy about it at all, she clearly felt entitled to his attention. By some Beth-magic she is able to make that seem charming.

Eventually they found the little sister too:

Greg sat on the bleacher in front of me, so he could lean back into my arms and I could block the wind for him. HOW SWEET AM I? I ended up with a back so achy from the cold that it was hard to bend over later. Man, the sacrifices I make for that guy (he's going to slug me any minute). I held the camera in front of us and took a couple shots of me making faces next to him. I couldn't tell what expression he had because I was behind him, and when I got home and saw this I had to laugh, because even though you can't see his mouth, his eyes are so revealing, he's totally giving that look that says, "Yes, here she is, this girl right here, is who I have to put up with every day."

These are Ellensburg girls! I'm so proud!

2008-05-01T23:29:52Z

Oh man, this has made me cry twice. I've got to stop reading it over. Everybody has heard about this I'm sure, but in case you haven't; during a softball game here in Ellensburg a couple days ago (where was I?), a Western Oregon University player tore her ACL as she ran back to tag first base, after missing it the first time. She had just hit her first home run ever in her career, right over the fence.

When her knee gave out, she crumpled, and the umpire said that she couldn't get help from her team to cross the bases. Their only option was to send in another player to stand on first base in her place. She'd be credited with a single and two RBIs, but her home run would be gone.

So two Central Washington University players asked if they could carry her.

The umpire said there was no rule against it.

So Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace put their arms under Tucholsky’s legs, and she put her arms over their shoulders. The three headed around the base paths, stopping to let Tucholsky touch each base with her good leg.

“The only thing I remember is that Mallory asked me which leg was the one that hurt,” Tucholsky said. “I told her it was my right leg and she said, ‘OK, we’re going to drop you down gently and you need to touch it with your left leg,’ and I said ‘OK, thank you very much.”’

“She said, ‘You deserve it, you hit it over the fence,’ and we all kind of just laughed.”

“We started laughing when we touched second base,” Holtman said. “I said, ’I wonder what this must look like to other people.”’

“We didn’t know that she was a senior or that this was her first home run,” Wallace said Wednesday. “That makes the story more touching than it was. We just wanted to help her.”

Crying again! All this Gatorade is making me maudlin! I'm so proud of those girls! Go Wildcats!

MSNBC article

So, like, I'm sick. Officially.

2008-05-01T17:26:59Z

I won't bore you with details. I think it will suffice to say that I weigh myself every morning. This morning at 8:30am I weighed something. At 10:00am I was curious to see if I weighed any less, after, well, after the intestinal bug I had burst through my body and left me bleeding while it ransacked half of Ellensburg. Yup, I now weigh almost four pounds less.

There is just something WRONG with that. You shouldn't be able to have four pounds of you gone after just 90 minutes. What if this keeps up? What's this bug going to take next? MY LUNGS? MY KIDNEYS? This is an unholy rate of ickiness.

I would like to thank the universal ruler for the following:

1) Greg.
2) Ritz crackers.
3) Peeled Cameo apples.
4) That person who had the idea of having master bedrooms include master bathrooms.
5) Really strong chamomile tea.
6) Understanding Moms.
7) Laptops, which provide endless entertainment when bedridden.

Overheard

2008-04-30T22:43:42Z

"I'M TELLING ON YOU BETH!"

"NO! I'M TELLING ON YOU!"

"NO! ONLY ONE PERSON CAN TELL ON YOU AT ONCE!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"Fine!"

"I'm going potty."

Day of exellentness!

2008-04-30T03:02:49Z

Excellentness being my own word, of course. I'm starting to like seeing those little red lines under things, the onboard dictionary CRYING OUT to change my expressions to something more, well, right. Too bad, sucker. Today was a day of excellentness.

I felt a lot better today. Still tired, but I don't think I'm actually getting sick. Hoofreakingray! There's that red line again. Okay, so: birds are chirping, I got to wear my purple tie-dye skirt for the first time this year, Beth and I had a marvelous day together including the taping of the title song on our forthcoming album Buenos Nachos, Miles came home came home from school and he and Beth got to go over to my Mom's house, where she and Dad are probably stuffing them full of popcorn and "muscle milk" as I write this, Greg and I got to have a date night, which just happens to be our last night alone together before Ms. rubricity moves in.

We celebrated by taking a bunch of stuff to the dump. I like to start romantic nights off with a bang, don't you? Then we picked up salad and chocolate cake from Ellensburg Pasta, and then we went to Blockbuster (our Netlflix movies weren't here) and rented Atonement, 30 Days of Night, and Juno. "It's the emotional trifecta of movies!" I told him. "We've got one to scare the crap out of us, one to make us cry, and one to make us laugh."

We just finished watching 30 Days of Night. Man, I'm craving spaghetti! I asked Greg what he thought of the movie. "I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats," he said.

I laughed. "If we ever get divorced," I told him, "and then vampires take over our town and eat all our friends? I am SO getting back together with you."

"Good to know."

Now it's time for another movie. But first I had to listen to Regina Spektor again. I can thank Justin, my sculpting class teacher, for introducing me to her. He plugs his iPod into some speakers in class every day. His music is different, but very good. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed it until last week when he forgot his iPod in his car, and he let one of the guys in class hook his own iPod up. It was like.....like the sound of the Tin Man getting run over by a car, with a guy playing guitar in the background. Later on, in the hall, I told Justin that while I liked being in class, if I had to listen to this guy's music much longer I might be forced to use the shop tools to drill a hole through my head.

Justin, being the best teacher ever (okay, my only CWU teacher so far, but still) went out to the car and got his own iPod. Bless him.

Later on I picked up his iPod and fished for this song, and said, "Who is this girl? I LIKE HER."

It's Regina Spektor. She's marvelous. I hope you guys are all having a night of excellentness.

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

Buenos Nachos (audio test)

2008-04-29T20:57:03Z

I'm not sure if this will work. I have a microphone for my iPod, and I'd like to start recording little things the kids say or do, and be able to make audio files out of them. I'm still learning how all this works, so if you insert audio files into your blog on a regular basis, I'd love to hear how you do it!

I rearranged the library today, and put my brown leather chair in there so I could actually sit and read sometime. Then I dug out my guitar tuner and tuned up my guitar (after shaking out the contents; two red straws and a highlighter pen, thanks kids).

As I sat there strumming the only three chords I know (G7, C, and D, go me!), Beth started SINGING. Of course I had to grab the iPod and get this on "tape". She loves spanish, and she basically just sang "Buenos Noches" over and over again. After that I tried to get her to sing Buenos Nachos, but she wasn't as into that.

Can you guys hear this? It's a 3-minute file. Beth singing at the beginning is the cute part, so you only have to listen for the first minute. I would've edited out my singing and our talking, but I wasn't sure how. I'm so sick of fighting Garage Band, and I haven't found an alternative yet.

Finding those guys who don't have milk.....

2008-04-28T23:16:15Z

"Can we play Simpsons Clue?"

"Well, it's kind of a grown-up game. It's hard for little kids to play."

"But I'm a grown-up!"

"Nah, you're still a little kid."

"When will I be grown-up?"

"Well, when you're 18 or something. At least legally in the state of Washington."

"When I'm 55, will I be a grown-up?"

"Yeah! You'll probably be a Grandpa!"

"Wow!"

"Do you want kids someday?"

"Sure."

"Are you going to get married?"

"What's married?"

"It's like.....when you find someone you love a whole lot, and then you have all your friends and family get together, and an officiant does this ceremony, and then you're married, and you love each other, and you live together." [I can hear the objections to this now, forgive me for not explaining how you can live with someone and not marry them, I was trying to conceptualize "marriage" to a five-year-old, and I was blundering enough with "officiant".]

"Sure, I get married."

"Are you going to marry a boy or a girl?"

"Ummmmm.....I think a girl."

"Will she be pretty?"

"Maybe."

"Will she be super smart?"

"Yeah!"

"What do you think you'll do when you grow-up? What do you want your work to be?"

"A milkman!"

"A MILKMAN? Huh? Where did you hear that? Do you know what a milkman does?"

"Yeah! A milkman, see, he goes to people who don't have any milk, and he has this cart with all this milk in it, and he finds those guys who don't have any milk, and he goes to their house, and he rings the bell, and he says, 'MILK!', and then he gives them milk. I want to be the milkman."

"You are awesome."

"Yeah."

I sense a theme:

2008-04-27T17:44:37Z

After putting 28 Weeks Later in our Netflix queue, we're offered:

Undead
Undead or Alive
Dead and Deader
Land of the Dead
Shadow: Dead Riot

Saturday of Deliciousness

2008-04-27T04:06:12Z

I can't believe I'm posting this, this picture of my iced tea complete with THE SPILLED SOUP ON THE SHELF. I promise, I will clean that up tomorrow, because Sonja is moving in next week. And, also, it's ugly. Although damn, that soup was tasty. Off the topic. Anyway. So today I made some food.

I've been thinking about what I learned from Vegan Week 2008:

1) Going vegan is hard.

2) Going vegan is hard not so much because being a vegan is hard, but because I don't know how to cook anything.

3) While I was grateful to go back to eating regular food, I noticed that when I did, I stopped feeling so BRIGHT AND SHINY IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY in the morning, which I missed a lot.

4) After 48 hours on the vegan diet, my anxiety levels plummeted, and stayed down. When I went back to nibbling dairy, they slowly climbed back up again. Ditto for the chocolate I started eating. I've heard there are people who live without dairy or chocolate. I wonder if they're able to carve out meaningful lives in between all the bouts of teeth gnashing and loud public displays of grief. I guess we'll see.

5) I slept tons better, too. I really miss that.

6) Since I've gone back to eating a lot more grains, I've noticed that whenever I eat a big serving of bread or other processed grain food, I feel very bloated and tired.

7) I notice the same thing with beans, except for the tired part. I'm not sure beans like me.

Greg's reaction to all this surprised me. I didn't know he was paying any attention (other than to come out of his office and yell at me, "EAT WOMAN, EAT!"), but he really was. He's told me several times how much better I was doing before, and that if I just learned to cook, I'd probably be a lot happier and less anxious eating mostly vegan. We both think I need to have balance. I gotta get there slower. No bad food/good food cold-turkey crap. And if I'm going to have any hope of staying there, I gotta learn to make my own food.

On that note, I decided on a new plan of attack for trying to make something useful out of this ridiculously huge cookbook collection I have. I'm taking index cards, and putting one card in each book, starting with the first recipe I see that I like. I'm going to start making each recipe, a few every week, and moving the bookmark along to the next recipe to try. All the ones that we love will get copied (I love having a copier at home) and put into a binder that I've set up for this purpose. Once I'm through the book, I'll give it away to make more space, a la OGRES.

Today I started with The Brown Bag Lunch Cookbook. The first thing I made was granola. I've never made it before, and I've always wanted to. It seems so easy, and so yummy, and today's batch was both, except that I let it cook a little long and it's a bit browner than it should be. I don't think it will matter. Granola: going in the book. Next up was some blueberry bread. I ate two slices of this, and felt really cruddy. I napped for awhile, and was a total grouch when I woke up. Blueberry bread: not going in the new book.

For some reason I didn't have my iPhone nearby and so didn't grab pictures of those projects. But I did get a photo of tonight's dinner (this is my second bowl. NROM NOM NOM. I might even go for a third):

[if you click on this picture and view it at the Flickr site, there are notes! how thrilling! okay, not really.]

Did you know that Safeway has an organics line, and they wash up giant batches of spinach, and then sell them for a pittance? I am in HEAVEN! Don't tell my Mom I just said that, she'll think I've been replaced by a replicant or something.

As you can see, I'm addicted to mason jars. I'll be starting a support group soon. Other people love their tupperware or their 1lb Ziploc freezer bags. I love my mason jars. I use them for making bread, for brewing iced tea, for storing green smoothies or taco sauce or pizza sauce or leftover blueberry shake or kidney beans or soup or pizza dough (this totally works), for mixing salad dressing, for watering plants, for catching spiders. With those white plastic lids they have now, they're the perfect storage container. They're pretty, too.

Let's see, what else happened today. I'm almost finished with The Alchemist. Hate to say it, but I'm bored so far. I remember enjoying Veronika Decides to Die, but this one is just.....hrm. More on that later. We also took a drive to Cle Elum to see how I felt going for a drive. More on that later too. More on lots of stuff later. Right now the kids are asleep, and that means it's time to cuddle up and watch a movie. And eat spinach salad. NROM NOM NOM.

Eat, Pray, Love, in Paris

2008-04-26T06:02:10Z

So many people have been reading Eat Pray Love recently, and telling me how I need to read it. Hee! Beat ya to it. I read it a few weeks ago and loved it. Tonight I followed a link from the Paris Daily Photo to a charming blog by an American named Aimee, who married a Frenchman (hey mwana_isimu, does that sound familiar?) and started a tea shop in Paris.

In her shop she has this arrangement of crates set up like a bookshelf, and I love the way she did it - if you go to the photo and click on the notes, you'll see that she has a copy of Eat Pray Love in one of the crates. It's often surprising to me how much I can feel connected to people through their books.

BTW, I checked the class schedule for summer, and there is no French language intensive. Merde! I'm hoping they have it in on the fall quarter schedule.

After a really amazing conversation. One of several we've been having lately.

2008-04-25T07:27:04Z

"I love that we can talk like this. You're just my best friend in the entire freaking world. This just doesn't work with anybody else. This is why I'm afraid that you'll die, that you'll have a heart attack*, and then I'll be bereft and alone. You have to promise me that if that happens, you'll come back and talk to me like this in my dreams."

"Done. No problem."

"Except, you know, don't come talking to me while I'm walking down a dark hallway or something. That's just creepy."

"No dark hallways."

"Of course I'll probably die first. And then I'll haunt you like crazy. You'll get remarried and I'll go around tipping over all the pictures of your new wife."

*laughs*

"Thanks for talking tonight. It helped a ton."

"Anytime babe. You can talk to me anytime. Except for when I'm doing it with my new wife. Then you can't interrupt me."

*snort*

"Of course, I'll be thinking of you the whole time."

"I'll be able to read your mind. As long as that's true, I won't interrupt you."

* He has high blood pressure. I worry about him a lot.

The sweater HELP ME post.

2008-04-25T02:20:24Z

This is for royalrose, coyote_mama, mh75, and stegosaur, who commented before. Also, if anyone else knits and knows what heck is going on, feel free to chime in!

Okay, it's the Hourglass Sweater. Yup. It looks so preeeeetty, in the book. It's so frustrating on the needles.

It calls for 32" #7 circs. I got those.

It says the gauge is: 19 sts and 28 rows = 4"

Here's the directions. Stuff that looks like this {blah bladdedy blah} is my comment.

With longer circs, cast on 97 st for back, place marker, 97 st for front - 194 st. Join for working in the round, yadda yadda yadda.

Knit 5 rnds, then purl 1 rnd for hem turning rnd. Knit 10 rnds, end last rnd 2 sts before the beginning marker.
{this part was easy.}

Decrease rnd: * Ssk, k1, k2tog, knit to within 2 sts of next marker; repeat * once more - 4 sts decreased. Knit 10 rnds.
{this part seemed fine}

Repeat the last 11 rnds 2 more times, then work decrease rnd once more - (178) sts; piece measures 6 1/4". {DANGER DANGER} Work even until piece measures 7 1/2" above turning rnd, end last rnd 1 st before the beginning marker.

Okay. So. I got to this point in the pattern, and I'm thinking, TRA LA LA, I'll measure to see that I'm at 6 1/4", and then I'll continue on until I reach 7 1/2."

I measured my piece. It's 8 1/2" long. SHITAKE MUSHROOM. So grabbed my gauge thingy {technical term}, and my gauge was right on: 19 sts and 28 rows DOES EQUAL 4"

So what gives? What did I do wrong? Do I rip it out and start over? I suspect the part in bold is where I futzed up. I'm not sure I understand those directions right.

Here it so far, in all its loveliness:

whine. whine. whine. HEY! Greg just brought me a glass of red wine! WINE. WINE. WINE. Yeah, this is helping.

Well CARP.

2008-04-24T21:01:52Z

The sweater I'm knitting for myself is all kerfuffled. Which is to say, it's coming out bigger than it should, or something. I don't know what I did wrong. Clearly it's the same thing I do wrong when I make SOCKS. Damn socks. So far, the only projects I seem able to pull off are baby sweaters, baby blankets, hats and washcloths. Everything else ties me up in knots.

*throws needles into air*
*whines pathetically*

When Llyra gets home, I will have her rescue me. Unless someone else wants to come to Ellensburg?

*holds up plate of waffles invitingly*

It's time for a new career, baby.

2008-04-23T23:25:02Z

I couldn't make up stuff this good:

Beth: But I want to go to GYMNASTICS! RIght NOW, Mama! Right now! It's my turn! Let's go! I NEED TO GOOOOoooOOoOOoOOO! I NEEEEEEEED to GOOOOOOooOOoooOo!

Me: Rooey, stop with the whining, okay? Do you hear the way your voice sounds right now? Please don't yell or whine at Mama like that.

Beth: But it's MY JOB!

It had to be done.

2008-04-22T06:01:42Z

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=15743489533

First T-ball GAME! Hurrah!

2008-04-22T03:27:43Z

He had SUCH a great time! The spectators all froze our collective butts off. Saturday was supposed to be his first game, but it was canceled due to cold. Yeah, well, today was insanely chilly, I had a shirt, a sweater, a fleece vest, and a wind-proof fleece jacket on and I was still shaking like a leaf. You could tell the parents who did this last year; they brought blankets and sleeping bags.

Miles did great, the whole team did. Sonja asked me who won, and honestly, I wasn't paying attention. They don't keep score because the kids are still so little. Beth stood on the sidelines bouncing up and down yelling, "GO MILES!", and waving her baby doll at him like a pom-pom. Grammy and Papa were there, and Grandpa and Grandma were there, and Miles was so proud of himself, his face was beaming even through that biting cold. Eventually he did start to look like he was shivering, and Dad ran his jacket out to him. Next week we'll need to add more layers to the kid before we send him out.

He's SUCH A HAM, I tell ya. Man, he is SO MY BOY. He and I have this special dork bond, we are both such goofballs. We walk through the grocery store making weird motions and striking poses, or we dance through the produce aisle. I love this about him, I love how he just gets down. And T-ball is no different. Here is playing air guitar while he's waiting for his turn to bat:

We kept yelling, "Miles! Watch the game!", because we were afraid he'd get out there to bat and not know what to do, being so busy rocking out and all. But he was just fine, he got out there and swung the bat and ran to first, and then booked it all the way home, just like the other kids. WOOT!

That's our boy!

I wanna be a cyborg, and you can be my....uh.....

2008-04-21T07:01:10Z

Okay, I was going with that song that I love, I wanna be a cowboy, and you can be my cowgirl....except I don't think we've separated cyborgs into genders. We really should.

I took a bath tonight, with some bubble bath from LUSH that simonelo gave me (have I mentioned how much I adore you lately?), and I found myself putting down my Alfie Kohn and reading Wired, which Greg got a subscription to one night when a Mothers Against Drunk Driving representative called him and told him that if he bought one, drunk driving rates would go down. Or something. I'm not sure what she told him, all I know is that he is normally Mr. I'm Not Taking Any Of Your Crap when it comes to salespeople cold-calling the house, and this time he just looked very somber and kept agreeing with everything he was hearing, and then I noticed him fishing for his credit card. A few minutes later:

"Yeah, so we have a subscription to Wired now."

"Why on earth? I thought you didn't like that magazine?"

"Well, it's for Mothers Against Drunk Driving."

I was afraid to ask for how many years we had a subscription. The next time I want a new piece of Le Creuset, I'm going to tell him my purchase benefits Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

Anyway, it arrives every month, and I've started flipping through it, and May's issue is really interesting. On page 118 there's an article about Piotr Wozniak. They don't tell us how to say "Piotr", they only tell us it's Polish, which helps me not at all. I just said "Peter" in my head every time I read it. I hope that no Polish people are going to come to my house and kick my ass now.

Piotr, okay, let's just call him Wozniak, developed a program called SuperMemo, which helps people learn things. He initially designed it specifically to help him learn English, which worked very well, considering he learned words I don't even know (not that this takes l33t skillz, I mean I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED COLLEGE YET, not that I'm defensive):

"Two words that used to give me trouble are perspicuous and perspicacious," he confessed......."Then I found a mnemonic to enter in SuperMemo: clear/clever. Now I never misuse them."

Show off.

The point being, the program worked. Very, very well. It's based on the idea that while learning is easy, retaining information is relatively hard. Most people attempt to retain information by review and repetition, but this is woefully inefficient. If you review too early, you've wasted your time, but if you review too late, you're going to have to relearn the information. Most of us who've suffered through memorization-based classes like anatomy understand this. Can YOU name all the bones of the upper appendicular skeleton? Yeah, well, I can. I may not have known what PERSPICACIOUS meant (I just looked it up, oh, the irony, it cuts deep), but I can tell you where your lunate is, and I can also make an occlusive bandage if you have a sucking chest wound (okay now I'm just showing off).

What's so interesting about Wozniak's program is that it calculates the precise time when your brain is likely to forget something, and it gives it to you to review. It turns out the best time to review a fact (or a new word, for example) is right when you're about to forget it. Our brains forget things exponentially, and apparently psychologists have known about this for over a hundred years, but trying to integrate that knowledge into some practical mechanism to help people retain information has been mostly a total bust. Until Wozniak came up with the brilliant idea that hey, computers could probably be used to calculate when you're likely to forget something you're trying to learn. Voila. SuperMemo.

What I love about Wozniak's idea is that he came up with this by using himself as a guinea pig. He wanted to learn English, he'd calculated how long it would take to learn about 30,000 English words and phrases, and when he realized it would take too long, he didn't stop. He came up with an entirely new solution to the problem. It's taken over his whole life, apparently. He's reclusive, he guards his time ruthlessly, because now that he can find a way to remember anything, he has to make careful decisions about what he's going to learn, how he'll spend his time, what he'll put into his head.

If you knew you could remember everything, what would you put into your head? I'd take several physics classes, several language classes, and then I'd spend a few years immersed in world history. I've no idea how Wozniak is spending his time, but I bet none of it is wasted on Facebook. *cough*

The article made several references to the new and exciting roles that computers have, now and in the future, in shaping human intelligence. I've always been interested in how computers can shape human sensory input. Greg and I talked once about the idea of mechanical eyes: if there were experimental eyes out there, that could be installed in your head (replacing your own eyes of course), would you try them? What about if they could help you to see things normal human eyes can't? What if you knew the surgery wasn't reversible, that your original eyes would be gone for good?

I completely shocked him (that happens so rarely now that it's extra fun) by saying I would totally get the cyborg eyes. I also told him that I want to get magnets in my fingers at some point, and that I look forward to things like nanotechnology and replaceable organs, and the ability to download my consciousness into a machine. Maybe it's a fear of death, but I like to think of it as experiencing some entirely new sort of perception.

Okay, this is too long, even for LJ. And I didn't even drink any wine before I started. Off to bed.

I love making him laugh.

2008-04-19T19:56:31Z

"How is it that I'm getting so many grey hairs, and you're just getting more and more beautiful?", he asks me, gazing at me over a cupcake.

I think for a second.

"I am slowly sucking the life right out of you."

Day 6: ^%$# this #@$^. Pardon my french.

2008-04-19T04:32:54Z

I read sayvandalay's words:

No. Not good. Stop it now, and eat. You will never lose weight that way anyway. You can eat moderately and not feel the way you feel now. I've been there - I've done it - mine was of no carb variety but the feeling is THE SAME, and it did nothing for me but make me pissed off and just as fat and tired as hell. Go eat pizza, and tomorrow, figure out a new plan that you LIKE.

And I looked at Greg and said, "You want a pizza?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Let's order it." And then I used one of my favorite curse phrases, that I won't go into here, because it's not a family-oriented sort of phrase, and no, I don't say it around the kids.

Greg laughed. "You should make that the title of your next post," he said. So I kind of did.

Anyway, today, today, today. What to say about today. I totally cracked, and I'll you why: because I went to the grocery store, and all of a sudden, instead of seeing food separated into groups like this:

- Tastes good.
- Doesn't taste good.
- Ugh, tastes good but will probably give me a panic attack.
- Just not interested.
- That's not actually food (frozen dinners aisle).

I was seeing food separated into groups like this:

- BAD.
- GOOD.
- VIRTUOUS.
- NOT VIRTUOUS.

This totally freaked me out. I do not like seeing food this way, and I am very uncomfortable continuing on even a temporary food experiment where I'm having this experience after just six days.

Here's some Hollie history: I've never really dieted. I tried Weight Watchers once, and the points thing drove me nuts. After that, I would try to "eat healthy" for a day or so, but I never lost or gained more than 2-3 pounds of weight. Until last October, when I started working out regularly and eating green smoothies and dropped about 25 pounds. And all that was just me doing the "eat healthy" thing for longer than a week. And it felt good, and honestly, it was pretty easy.

My point being that I've never really had the experience that I think MILLIONS of American women have, where they don't see food as food, they see food as having a sort of ethical identity. I've definitely seen food as "emotional bandage", and used it to help me cope with feelings, but that was more like exerting control over something. The food was sort of the medium, but it didn't have intrinsic goodness or badness to it. I hope that makes sense. But suddenly, suddenly today, there it was before me: GOOD FOOD. BAD FOOD.

This is just so totally unacceptable on so many levels. No, just NO. I will not do this. I do care about my arteries, I do want to live a long time, but I don't think this is working to get me there. I think this is the path to an eating disorder, honestly.

So, we came home, and I thought about what to eat for dinner. More soup? The soup was GOOD, but I was bored by it, and I wanted something else that tasted good, but everything that did was apparently BAD. And that's when I knew I really had to stop. So. I read Adrienne's reply about the pizza, and I just thought, "Yes."

We had pizza for dinner. I had two pieces. That was all I wanted. It was very good. And I evaluated the pizza the way I used to: as something that tasted good, but had risk: I noted the dairy, I noted that if I ate too much I'd probably feel some intestinal rumbling, I noted that since I had dairy today I know my body well enough to know that I shouldn't eat anymore for at least four or five more days, or risk anxiety attacks. And all that evaluating felt okay. It felt appropriate to me, to this body I inhabit, not to anybody else's idea of what my body should do or be or look like.

Over the next few days I'll think a lot more about balance, about what I mean and want when I say, "Eat healthy", and about what I'm trying to give my body. And myself. Same thing. Sort of.

And of course I'll write it all down, because that's JUST WHAT I DO.

GGGRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRGH!

2008-04-18T20:14:43Z

I am VERY GROUCHY today. I woke up happy as usual, and then got hungry, and the hunger is like a bear that will not leave. I don't want more vegetables, I don't want another salad, I don't want a green smoothie (I think I just heard several people gasp), I don't want anymore stupid salt-free bland vegan food that all ends up tasting like either salad or mexican food, I want FOOD, I want some scrambled eggs with dill and ground pepper, I want some black cherry jam on some of my own homemade bread, I want some of Jojo's french toast, I want a fat slice of pizza, I want something that will actually fill me up longer than FIFTEEN MINUTES.

Not that I'm whiny or anything.

I'm not sure I can do this for six weeks. This morning my wonderful delightful husband made a HAM AND CHEESE OMELETTE, like what, he doesn't even love me at all? And I had a bite. One tiny little bite, and I swear it was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted in my entire life. This is ridiculous. Healthy eating is one thing, but what is this? I'm starving all the time and I'm bored. This is not the way I want to eat forever, no matter how it cleans my arteries. There has got to be a healthier balance than this. Even if this is just a dietary reset period, we have got find something I can eat. Something that sticks to my ribs.

And here I am in my workout clothes, which I've been in all day, and I'm not working out, because I just don't have the energy. I'm going to go into the kitchen, and I'm either going to eat some more of that Anti-Cancer soup, or I'm going to make a scrambled egg. Maybe both. I don't know yet. And then I'm going to come out here and get some exercise done, dammit.

GGGRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRGH!

Day 5. SOUP!

2008-04-18T04:42:54Z

Joel Fuhrman has a recipe in his book called, "Dr. Fuhrman's Anti-Cancer Soup". It serves TEN, because I know *I* certainly don't have any trouble convincing nine of my close personal friends to come over and eat my salt-free vegan food.

It starts out simple enough. Four cups of water and a cup of beans. You cover the pot (I forgot to do that part), and put it on low. Then you take the outer skins off of onions, and put those in, whole. They just sit there, peeking out, looking uncomfortably conspicuous. I've never seen onions look like they wanted to be cut up so bad. They felt better once the zucchinis arrived, those were whole too. And then the leeks. Pretty soon I had a huge dutch oven filled to the brim with vegetables, and hardly any broth:

At that point it's just confusing. Where are we going with this? Oh, yeah, broth. So then the fun really begins. You juice two bags of celery and a 5lb bag of carrots. Greg did the carrots. He started to peel them, and it was then that I discovered Greg's kryptonite: he can't peel carrots to save his life. It's like this:

PEEL.

PEEL.

He's chatting, this whole time. I'm standing there while the juicer is blending air.

PEEL.

PEEL.

"Sweetie," I tell him, interrupting him. "You juice. I'll peel."

"What?" he says.

"Here...", I say. And then I take the peeler, and I do this:

PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL.
PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL. PEEL.

"Ohhhhhhh," he says.

But juicing is a much better job for him, because he looks so DASHING standing there at the Champion Juicer (it's right there in the name: CHAMPION) -

Eventually we had a bowl full of this, good thing the dogs like it. We put all the juice in the pot, and let it simmer for about an hour. I don't think it was supposed to be that long, but I got busy. The soup got ugly.

The next step was to put all the soggy vegetables and broth into the Vita Mix. You blend the mess together, add some cashews, some mushrooms, and some vegetable broth powder, and then you supposedly get the best soup in the world, so delicious that some patient of his has a fancy restaurant and serves it there. I was nervous, the more we blended it, the more I thought it looked like something that comes out of a baby's diaper:

Lisa's comment: Who yakked? Bwahahaha. I was horrified, but what's weird is that it's DELICIOUS. It needs salt, but otherwise it is strangely good for something that looks that completely foul.

Day 5 went pretty well. I woke up in awesome spirits, again. Felt great, had energy, was all happy and silly, attacked Greg, bounced around drinking blueberry smoothie.

The afternoon hit, and I fell into that same pattern of not wanting to eat, and then when I'd idly look at what there was to eat, there wasn't anything I wanted. It was a much better food day than usual, but I still feel bored and like I'm not sure how to do this. Knowing I'll have soup tomorrow is good, but I think this is going to be a loooooong six weeks if I don't pick up the pace of cooking good food.

My Mom and stepDad are taking the kids Saturday night for a date night (WOO!), and I have to think about whether I want to eat out or not. If we do, I want to eat out. I'm not going to sit there and pay an arm and a leg for celery sticks. I think of this as a quality of life issue. Will it bother me later not to have been able to dine out? Will it be that big of a deal if I adhere to the guidelines except for a few special occasions during the six weeks?

Ponder.